Many people use the terms grief and bereavement interchangeably, but they are not exactly the same thing.

In this blog post, we will explore the differences between grief and bereavement, and how they can affect us in different ways.

## What is grief?

Grief is a natural and normal reaction to loss. It is the emotional pain or sadness that we feel when we lose someone or something that we care about. Grief can occur in many circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the death of a pet.

Grief can impact both our physical and mental health, as well as our social and emotional well-being. Some of the common symptoms of grief are:

- Shock and numbness – this is usually the first reaction to loss, and people often talk about "being in a daze".
- Overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying.
- Tiredness or exhaustion.
- Anger – towards the person we've lost or the reason for our loss.
- Guilt – for example, guilt about feeling angry, about something we said or did not say, or not being able to stop our loved one from dying.

Grief is a personal and unique experience that can be complex and unpredictable. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and no set timeline for how long it will last. Grief can come and go in waves, or it can be triggered by certain events, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays.

## What is bereavement?

Bereavement is the time period after a loss during which we grieve and mourn. Bereavement is not an emotion, but a fact of loss. Bereavement can vary in length depending on the type and significance of the loss, as well as our personal circumstances and coping skills.

Bereavement can also involve practical tasks and challenges, such as arranging a funeral, sorting out legal matters, dealing with financial issues, or adjusting to life without the person we've lost. These tasks can add to our stress and emotional burden during bereavement.

Bereavement can also affect our relationships with others who are grieving the same loss. We may feel closer to some people who share our feelings and memories, or we may feel distant from others who grieve differently or have different expectations of us.

## How are grief and bereavement different?

While grief and bereavement are closely related, they are not exactly the same thing. Here are some of the differences between them:

- Grief is an emotional reaction to loss, while bereavement is the fact of loss.
- Grief is subjective and personal, while bereavement is objective and factual.
- Grief can occur in any situation of loss, while bereavement usually refers to the loss of a person through death.
- Grief can vary in intensity and duration depending on many factors, while bereavement has a more defined start and end point.
- Grief can be expressed in many ways, such as crying, talking, writing, or creating art, while bereavement involves more practical tasks and responsibilities.

## How can we cope with grief and bereavement?

Grief and bereavement are natural and inevitable parts of life that we all have to face at some point. While they can be painful and challenging, they can also help us grow and appreciate what we have. Here are some tips on how to cope with grief and bereavement:

- Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to express them in healthy ways. Don't try to suppress or avoid your emotions, as this can make them worse in the long run.
- Seek support from others who understand what you're going through. You don't have to go through this alone. You can talk to a friend, family member, health professional, counsellor, or join a support group or online community.
- Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Try to get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and avoid alcohol, drugs, or other substances that can harm your health.
- Find meaning and purpose in your life. You may find comfort in your faith, spirituality, values, hobbies, or goals. You may also find ways to honour your loved one's memory, such as creating a tribute, donating to a cause, or helping others who are grieving.
- Be patient with yourself and your process. Grief and bereavement are not linear or predictable. You may have good days and bad days, ups and downs. Don't compare yourself to others or judge yourself for how you feel. Remember that everyone grieves differently and at their own pace.

## What are some coping mechanisms?

Coping mechanisms are strategies that we use to deal with difficult emotions or situations. They can be helpful or harmful depending on how we use them. Some examples of helpful coping mechanisms are:

- Breathing exercises – these can help us calm down and relax when we feel stressed or anxious.
- Journaling – this can help us process our thoughts and feelings, and express them in a safe and private way.
- Meditation – this can help us focus on the present moment and reduce negative thoughts or worries.
- Music – this can help us lift our mood, distract ourselves, or connect with our emotions.
- Reading – this can help us escape from reality, learn new things, or find inspiration.

Some examples of harmful coping mechanisms are:

- Denial – this is when we refuse to accept or acknowledge the reality of our situation or feelings.
- Isolation – this is when we withdraw from others and avoid social contact or support.
- Self-harm – this is when we intentionally hurt ourselves physically or emotionally, such as cutting, burning, or starving ourselves.
- Substance abuse – this is when we use alcohol, drugs, or other substances to numb our pain or escape from our problems.

It is important to be aware of how we cope with grief and bereavement, and to seek help if we are using harmful coping mechanisms. There are many resources and services available to help us cope in healthy and positive ways. We don't have to suffer alone or in silence.